Travel with the in-laws: a survival guide

Travelling with your own parents can be tricky, but taking a journey with the in-laws (or out-laws, if you’re unhitched) can be an etiquette minefield. Now, being fond of my own beloved’s parents (and knowing full well they read my articles), there’ll be no cheap mother-in-law jokes here. After all, your in-laws shaped your significant other into the charming individual they are today (even if they didn’t quite school him fully in the art of picking up the dirty socks and loose change he leaves strewn across the floor).

Whether you and the in-laws share belly laughs or strained conversation, there are challenges to travelling together. Back under the watchful eye of parents, your sophisticated partner might metamorphose into their surly teenage self. And you might feel under the spotlight too, particularly if you don’t know them well. But you can survive awkward small-talk on long-haul flights, navigate tensions, and emerge looking even more saintly than before (or realistically: not tarnish their woeful impression of you further). These survival tips are easier said than done, but it’s time to put on a clean shirt and a winning smile, and breeze your way through a family trip.

1. Suss out their travel style

Do your partner’s parents lounge in five-star resorts, or will they bolt up a mountain before you’ve even reached for your breakfast Nutella? Find out early so you can pack appropriately and mentally prepare. Getting insider info isn’t limited to the in-laws’ travel style – your other half needs to prep you about any touchy subjects. A five-hour drive through Bulgaria is not the moment for one of your ‘jokes’ to fall flat.

2. Make sure the in-laws are fully briefed

Urge your lover to flag up anything the in-laws need to know about you, too. You don’t want to be explaining your passionate vegetarianism at the very moment die-hard carnivore dad-in-law is eyeing up an Argentine steak house menu.

3. Ask everyone to submit a trip wishlist

If you leave it until the trip to plan what to do, you risk strained conversations over breakfast and one party holding the guidebook hostage. But if you start the trip with everyone’s ideas collected together, you can make sure everyone’s preferences get some love. Plus you all share responsibility for how the trip plays out, rather than one organiser becoming the punching bag if you end up sleeping in the airport.

4. Talk money early

Never make assumptions about who will pay for what. The in-laws might own an island, but that doesn’t mean they want to pick up your cocktail tab. And if you and your partner have the heavier wallets, your generosity with money could make the in-laws feel awkward. Putting money in a collective pool at the beginning of the holiday, and then drawing from that to pick up museum tickets and meals, is one way to stop every transaction provoking a debate over the bill. You don’t want to reach the point of wrestling the bill out of each other’s hands, but if they insist, accept graciously.

5. Let the group breathe

If you’ve spent a week as a quartet, tensions can become frayed. Make plans to spend a romantic day or half-day with your partner (if the in-laws are clingy, cry food poisoning). See if you can get a tête-à-tête with whichever in-law you share the best rapport – it helps to mix the generations up a little. If you’re travelling with just one in-law, bow out for an afternoon to give parent and offspring some time to bond (and talk about you, of course). Insisting on seeing an avant-garde play or obscure exhibition (Museum of Antique Glass, anyone?) is a good ruse; you can always sit in the park eating ice cream.

6. Redress the power balance gently

Parents never stop being protective, so you might find yourself having hotels paid for, decisions made, and activities vetoed by in-laws who assume they know best. Go with the flow but gently take a bit of control back by offering to drive or booking tickets for an event. Being behind the wheel or doing some planning reminds them of your competence without an intergenerational scrum breaking out.

7. Learn from each other

So you’re an adrenaline junkie/museum-hopper/linguaphile and they barely move from their sunny spot on the beach – don’t dismiss the in-laws’ travel preferences outright. Maybe you and your beloved did a day’s hiking while they lingered in local cafes; try sharing your experiences over dinner and jumping in each other’s shoes the next day. Coax them out for a ramble or join them for a low-key day of people-watching and coffees; you might see a side of the destination that you’d otherwise have missed.

8. Keep it light-hearted

Travelling together levels the playing field, as you are all out of your comfort zone. But it also increases the likelihood of tensions arising. As the (relative) outsider, you’re in the best position to smooth over dramas that well up between your partner and their parents. If squabbles erupt, don’t get into the thick of it, but cultivate the subtle art of deflection. (‘Oh look, a wallaby!’)

9. If things turn sour, don’t blame your partner

Backseat driving, calling you by the ex’s name, the whole group being forcibly removed from the Sistine Chapel because of mum-in-law’s flash photography… whatever it is that winds you up about travelling with in-laws, don’t lash out. Your partner is twice as embarrassed as you are, so try to laugh together once you’re back in your own space.

10. Don’t lose sight of the joy of travel

If family feuds spew forth or you find yourself under fire with prying questions (‘when can we expect those grandkids to appear?’), it’s easy to lose sight of why you’re actually here. For the love of travel, don’t let in-law awkwardness mar your enjoyment of exploring somewhere new.

Baby Friendly Toronto: Centre Island

Without a doubt, Centre Island is one of our favourite spots in Toronto. And the ferry ride to get there not only delights toddlers, but is part of the feeling that you’re escaping the city when you’re still in the heart of it. Well, once said toddler gets over the disappointment of taking a ferry and not a *fairy*

There are very few weeping Willow trees left in Toronto. Their destructive root systems mean the city cut most of them down years ago. So the Willows swaying in the breeze are one of the first things I notice when we step off the ferry, and instantly it’s easier to breathe as the kids toddle off along the path.

Because Centre Island is part of the Toronto Islands Park, there are plenty of clean washrooms that have change tables. The paths are all really well maintained – making it a breeze for any kind of stroller. If you’re the active type, bring your bike with baby seat or trailer and zip around the island - the greenspace along the lake is so lovely. Keep in mind that Hanlan’s Point Beach is clothing optional; you may see a little more nature than you intended as you pass by there. There’s plenty of shady spots for a picnic, and to feed baby.

The small amusement park, Centreville, is a total favourite of my kids, which I think is wonderful as it was my favourite too. Even the tiniest toddler can go on some rides solo, and my kids are delighted to wave to me from the flying bees. Admission to the park is free, but ride ticket prices vary. Small toddlers can probably get by with purchasing tickets as you go (it’s free for mom or dad to accompany tots on some like the historic Carousel), but it may make sense to purchase wristbands for older toddlers and preschoolers, especially if they love the rides. Keep in mind that lines are shorter in the morning, and during weekdays.

It’s pretty much typical fast food available at Centreville, but the pizza is fresh and not a bad deal, and you can (usually) purchase white milk at the Pizza Pizza. The sit-down restaurant is ok, but our preference is to pack most of our snacks and drinks for our visit.

The best sign ever..

Even though the ferries start running at 8am, Centreville doesn’t open until 10:30. My advice for early birds is to walk through the park to the Far Enough Farm, an adorable little farm on the edge of the island where you can check out the chickens, pigs, horses, and cows. There’s even several peacocks roaming around, showing off their colours. The Far Enough Farm, along with Riverdale Farm, are always open and always free – for now anyway.

Ferry tickets are $6.50 return for adults, and $4 for seniors and students. Youths 14 and under are $3, and children 2 and under are free. Centreville is open daily from the beginning of June until the beginning of September, and weekends in May and September. Deals on ride passes are sometimes available on their website. The Far Enough Farm is open year ’round. In the summer, ferries run every 15min from 8am until 11:45pm.

Just 12 minutes away from downtown on the ferry and you’re worlds away from the city. Centre Island is the perfect outing with baby.

Tips For Saving Money At Disney Parks

We know what you're thinking: Between hotels, park passes, meals and souvenirs, a Disney vacation could put a significant dent in your budget.

While some expenses are unavoidable, savvy travelers can find serious savings if they know where to look. ShermansTravel picked the brains of two Disney insiders to come up with the top 10 ways to save money at Disney parks that go beyond tried-and-true tips like taking advantage of hotel shuttles or visiting when kids are in school. If you don't want to return from the parks with an empty wallet, there's no need to wish upon a star - just follow tips 1-5 for Walt Disney World and tips 6-10 for Disneyland!

Eat Cheap at Walt Disney World

Theme parks have captive audiences and so their meals tend to be pricey. Here and there, though, Disney World visitors can pick up satisfying yet inexpensive food items for under $15. All four parks sell smoked turkey legs, and one tender Flintstones-sized $8 poultry limb is lunch enough for a mom and two kids. Epcot has a wealth of low-cost noshes, from edamame to seared tuna noodle salad. Quench your thirst with unlimited free samples of Coca-Cola products from around the world at Club Cool.

See Animals for Free

With its world-class collection of exotic creatures, Orlando’s Animal Kingdom can’t be beat for walkable safaris. Yet nearby lodging facilities offer a mighty nice sampling of the sensations that roam the savannah. At Disney’s Animal Kingdom Lodge resort guests can step onto a platform called Arusha Rock to view up to 30 types of furry and feathered friends, which might include white-bearded wildebeest, Thompson’s gazelle, giraffes, and okapi.

Hang at Florida's Downtown Disney

Get a huge Disney infusion without paying a penny. Simply stroll around Downtown Disney, a sprawling shopping, dining, and entertainment complex. It’s loads of fun yet has no entrance or parking fee. Begin at World of Disney, a mega-retail complex. Each room is highly themed, so much so that visitors gawk at the humongous props, especially the princess and pirate novelties inside the girls’ and boys’ sections, respectively. Willing to dole out a couple of bucks? For $2, tots can ride the carousel and the “dollar train,” just the right size for preschoolers.

Hotel Hop at Walt Disney World

The show doesn’t end when you exit the theme parks. Disney hotels often have entertainment of their own, and there’s no fee to walk right in and watch. For the best free and inexpensive hotel amusement, plan an evening at Disney’s BoardWalk area. From 7pm to 10pm nightly, a trio of entertainers takes turns gathering quiet crowds for alfresco shows. Generally, there’s a juggler, a comedian, and a magician, all enchanting onlookers with wholesome bits

Watch the Fireworks Someplace Else

Certainly nothing beats standing by Cinderella’s Castle to get a front-row view of the nighttime sky exploding with colors. But you can cheat and see the extraordinary show from spots outside the park. Show up before the sparks fly at the Grand Floridian or Polynesian beaches, the Transportation and Ticket Center, or the Magic Kingdom bus depot. If you’re at the Contemporary, go to the observation deck on the fourth floor.

Eat More, Pay Less at Disneyland

When visiting the Disneyland Resort for the day, the key is to eat a big breakfast, bring lots of snacks, and plan on eating one big meal in the parks. Fill tummies at your favorite fast food drive-thru on the way, and then load bags with snack food and water bottles. (Disneyland does request that guests refrain from bringing in outside food, but it’s not outright forbidden.) When it's time for that big meal, families rave about The Hungry Bear Restaurant where kids’ meals for $5.99 can often feed two hungry tykes.

Save Money on Parking in Anaheim

If you are parking at the Disneyland Resort for the entire day, the easiest and best place to keep your car is at the Mickey and Friends Parking Structure. At $15 a day, it provides plenty of parking for vehicles of all sizes and has great access to the park via the tram. If you are planning on being at the Resort for seven hours or less, the most economical parking can be found at the Downtown Disney parking lot. The first three hours are free and two additional hours are validated by purchasing a meal at participating restaurants in Downtown Disney, or by seeing a movie at the AMC Theater. The hourly rate is $6.

Make a Souvenir Spending Plan

From the moment you walk into Disneyland, your kids will see toys, trinkets, t-shirts, and Mickey ears that they just have to get. Set a limit with them before the day begins so that there is a clear idea of how much will be spent. Look through the stores during the day to see what they are interested in, but don't make any purchases until after dinner. Then they can see all the fun things and choose their favorite and you aren’t left carrying the bag around all day.

Free Fun at California's Downtown Disney

Though somewhat smaller than its Florida cousin, Anaheim’s Downtown Disney is the perfect place for an evening of free fun. It offers three hours of free parking, live music, a view of the Disneyland fireworks at 9:30pm (check disneyland.disney.go.com for specific times), and many unique shopping experiences. The Lego Imagination Center has been outfitted with brand new Lego structures that tower overhead and float along the ceiling. Get your picture taken next to R2-D2 and then let kids play with the Legos on the table.

Nighttime Savings

When the sun sets on the Disneyland Resort, street vendors pull out light swords, magic wands, glowing Mickey Ears, and other light up toys. Plan ahead and save a bundle of money by purchasing a pack of glow sticks from an online company or the dollar bin at your favorite store. For approximately $1 for a package of 10, you can save a bundle of money and will have a super fun way of enjoying the nighttime at Disneyland. As a bonus, glowing necklaces help keep track of your kids and each other.

10 Reasons To Travel When Your Kids Are Little

With the spate of online plane hate, the apparent need for a bill to seat children with their parents on flights and now stories of how travel is wasted on the young, parents these days might be understandably discouraged from family vacations, especially to destinations that require more effort to travel with kids.

This year I attended the Disney Social Media Moms Celebration - a gathering of writers and bloggers hosted by Disney at Walt Disney World in Orlando. Amy Foster, the Director of Consumer Insights for Disney Destinations, had perhaps the most thought provoking quote of the conference, "You might only have 18 summers with your children, make memories now!" Since most naysayers believe that travel is wasted on children too young to remember it, that would mean we'd have only 14 summers, maybe 15 - tops.

And while a Disney vacation is a dream for most families, there's value to be had in any trip, and it doesn't matter that they won't remember, because you will never forget.

Remember, folks, 18 summers. Here are 10 more reasons to travel when your kids are little...

1) Naps...

Babies nap. Sometimes twice or even more each day. Naps are usually given as a reason to avoid traveling with babies, as they're seen as an inconvenience. But following your child's routine while you're traveling gives your days structure, and since you're not at home, you can actually nap as well. Or read a book. Or just relax.

2) Beach Sand Is Cleaner Than Playground Sand

Babies love sand. And they always take a mouthful -- at least once. Wouldn't you prefer that first sandy taste test be on a pristine beach, rather than the mucky sandbox at your local playground?

3) They're Portable...

The littler the baby, the easier they are to cart around. If you travel before your baby is mobile, chances are they will be content to ride in a stroller or be worn in a carrier, and you are free to roam city streets or country lanes with a fellow passenger who's happy to come along for the ride.

4) Getting There CAN Be Half The Fun...

You know who likes riding public transit? Typically not commuters heading to and from work, but toddlers sure do. You can save a lot of money on rental cars and taxis, avoid lugging the car seat around and it's easy to transition to other activities by the promise of a bus or subway ride.

5) Liquid Diets...

As a first-time mother, I wouldn't have believed this, but a young, exclusively breastfeeding baby, is the easiest travel companion. No concerns over food safety or allergies or picky eaters to manage, a baby who is still on a liquid diet is the easiest to feed while traveling. If you're bottle feeding, pack enough formula if you're not certain you can get your brand at your destination, and it's really not that hard to sterilize bottles in a hotel room.

6) Take Advantage Of Early Bird Specials...

Those evenings spent lingering over coffee and dessert may be on hold for the time being because chances are you're eating dinner at about the time you used to be maybe thinking about getting dressed to go out. There are lots of restaurants that offer pretty great early bird specials for those dining before 6 p.m., and they're not just for the snowbirds to enjoy.

7) You Get To Be A Kid Again...

When you hit the theme parks as parents for the first time, you'll notice a lot more than the lines and the expense. Our trips to Walt Disney World with a baby and a preschooler in tow meant we could get a do-over for our childhood trips -- for us that meant several spins through It's A Small World, and the mouse ears with our names embroidered on them. And when your kids are little, you get to be the boss of the itinerary, too.

8) Travel To Places Where People Actually Like Kids...

It seems there are more and more stories about how kids are not welcome in restaurants, or how people's travel experiences are ruined by the presence of children. However, in lots of cultures in lots of countries, children are adored, and families with children of all ages are welcome just about anywhere.

9) It's Easier To Connect With Locals...

Babies are great icebreakers. If you're out and about with your baby or toddler, especially when it's obvious you are not a local, you may find yourselves to be treated as celebrities. Unless your name is Brad or Angelina, chances are it's not every day you're stopped to have your photo taken with your children. Parenthood is also a great equalizer. It doesn't matter who you are or where you're from, you love your children and are interested in how other people are raising theirs.

10) They Become Great Travelers...

The younger you start traveling with your children, the quicker they become excellent (and even easy) travel companions. They become used to what is expected of them on travel days and are excited about new places, faces and foods. It is a joy to see the world through your baby's eyes, why wait to experience it?