How to survive traveling solo with your kids

Even with two parents, traveling with children can be a challenge. There are bags to pack, sleep schedules to maintain, and young minds to occupy during long flights or car rides. With only one adult to field pleas of “Are we there yet?,” those traveling without a co-parent might feel overwhelmed at the prospect of hitting the road. With the following tips from family travel experts, single parents can enjoy exploring the world in the company of their kids.

Listen to your kids

Talon Windwalker, author of 1Dad1Kid.com, and his 11-year-old son have been on a round-the-world journey for more than a year. Windwalker advises parents to “include your child in the [travel] planning and decision-making as much as possible. Not only is it a great education, but it’s so much more interesting for them when they’ve been involved in the process.”

Adjust your expectations

A mother of two children under age 3, Keryn Means of WalkingOnTravels.com usually travels with her husband, who helps with diaper changes, feedings and naptime duties. However, a business trip for her previous employer led Means to her first solo trip as a parent: two weeks in China with her then 20-month-old son. After a failed day trip to the island of Macau that left Means and her toddler sweaty and exhausted, Means came to the realization that there are some activities she shouldn’t tackle on her own.

Without another parent along to help navigate a new locale and perform childcare duties, parents may want to consider reasonable expectations for how much can be accomplished in one day — and build in extra time for play and rest.

Make friends on the road

Traveling without a co-parent can get lonely at times. Windwalker says his son “needs someone besides Dad as his playmate from time to time.” They make friends at local parks, the beach and hostels. Many assume hostels are solely for college-aged backpackers, but they are also an affordable option for families on a one-person income who want to socialize with other travelers. Learn more about hostels at the Hostelling International website.

Lainie Liberti, who has been traveling the world with her now 13-year-old son for three years, makes friends with locals through CouchSurfing.org. “The 'groups' feature on the site allows us to post that we are coming to a particular city, and try to arrange meetups, events and social gatherings," she says. "We've met locals who are seniors, kids and everything in-between and have had some amazing experiences!” Liberti blogs about their adventures at RaisingMiro.com.

Buddy up

Just because you are traveling as a single parent doesn’t mean you need to go it alone. Invite another adult to join your vacation. It could be a grandparent or other family member, a trusted nanny or a fellow single parent with children.

Emma Johnson, a single mom and freelance business writer who blogs at WealthySingleMommy.com, recently took a vacation with her two preschoolers and another single mom’s family. Johnson appreciated splitting vacation costs and having another adult with whom to chat and share good times. Both sets of children had a ball playing together during their travels, too.

Pack light

One thing all of these travel-savvy parents agreed upon? Packing light. With just two adult hands to juggle luggage, it’s best to keep the packing list short. Purchase child-sized suitcases or backpacks and put your kids in charge of toting their own stuff.

Take a break

Even the most patient parent needs a break sometimes. Hiring a local babysitter or making use of your hotel’s kids camp can make the time you do spend together that much sweeter.

Travel with the in-laws: a survival guide

Travelling with your own parents can be tricky, but taking a journey with the in-laws (or out-laws, if you’re unhitched) can be an etiquette minefield. Now, being fond of my own beloved’s parents (and knowing full well they read my articles), there’ll be no cheap mother-in-law jokes here. After all, your in-laws shaped your significant other into the charming individual they are today (even if they didn’t quite school him fully in the art of picking up the dirty socks and loose change he leaves strewn across the floor).

Whether you and the in-laws share belly laughs or strained conversation, there are challenges to travelling together. Back under the watchful eye of parents, your sophisticated partner might metamorphose into their surly teenage self. And you might feel under the spotlight too, particularly if you don’t know them well. But you can survive awkward small-talk on long-haul flights, navigate tensions, and emerge looking even more saintly than before (or realistically: not tarnish their woeful impression of you further). These survival tips are easier said than done, but it’s time to put on a clean shirt and a winning smile, and breeze your way through a family trip.

1. Suss out their travel style

Do your partner’s parents lounge in five-star resorts, or will they bolt up a mountain before you’ve even reached for your breakfast Nutella? Find out early so you can pack appropriately and mentally prepare. Getting insider info isn’t limited to the in-laws’ travel style – your other half needs to prep you about any touchy subjects. A five-hour drive through Bulgaria is not the moment for one of your ‘jokes’ to fall flat.

2. Make sure the in-laws are fully briefed

Urge your lover to flag up anything the in-laws need to know about you, too. You don’t want to be explaining your passionate vegetarianism at the very moment die-hard carnivore dad-in-law is eyeing up an Argentine steak house menu.

3. Ask everyone to submit a trip wishlist

If you leave it until the trip to plan what to do, you risk strained conversations over breakfast and one party holding the guidebook hostage. But if you start the trip with everyone’s ideas collected together, you can make sure everyone’s preferences get some love. Plus you all share responsibility for how the trip plays out, rather than one organiser becoming the punching bag if you end up sleeping in the airport.

4. Talk money early

Never make assumptions about who will pay for what. The in-laws might own an island, but that doesn’t mean they want to pick up your cocktail tab. And if you and your partner have the heavier wallets, your generosity with money could make the in-laws feel awkward. Putting money in a collective pool at the beginning of the holiday, and then drawing from that to pick up museum tickets and meals, is one way to stop every transaction provoking a debate over the bill. You don’t want to reach the point of wrestling the bill out of each other’s hands, but if they insist, accept graciously.

5. Let the group breathe

If you’ve spent a week as a quartet, tensions can become frayed. Make plans to spend a romantic day or half-day with your partner (if the in-laws are clingy, cry food poisoning). See if you can get a tête-à-tête with whichever in-law you share the best rapport – it helps to mix the generations up a little. If you’re travelling with just one in-law, bow out for an afternoon to give parent and offspring some time to bond (and talk about you, of course). Insisting on seeing an avant-garde play or obscure exhibition (Museum of Antique Glass, anyone?) is a good ruse; you can always sit in the park eating ice cream.

6. Redress the power balance gently

Parents never stop being protective, so you might find yourself having hotels paid for, decisions made, and activities vetoed by in-laws who assume they know best. Go with the flow but gently take a bit of control back by offering to drive or booking tickets for an event. Being behind the wheel or doing some planning reminds them of your competence without an intergenerational scrum breaking out.

7. Learn from each other

So you’re an adrenaline junkie/museum-hopper/linguaphile and they barely move from their sunny spot on the beach – don’t dismiss the in-laws’ travel preferences outright. Maybe you and your beloved did a day’s hiking while they lingered in local cafes; try sharing your experiences over dinner and jumping in each other’s shoes the next day. Coax them out for a ramble or join them for a low-key day of people-watching and coffees; you might see a side of the destination that you’d otherwise have missed.

8. Keep it light-hearted

Travelling together levels the playing field, as you are all out of your comfort zone. But it also increases the likelihood of tensions arising. As the (relative) outsider, you’re in the best position to smooth over dramas that well up between your partner and their parents. If squabbles erupt, don’t get into the thick of it, but cultivate the subtle art of deflection. (‘Oh look, a wallaby!’)

9. If things turn sour, don’t blame your partner

Backseat driving, calling you by the ex’s name, the whole group being forcibly removed from the Sistine Chapel because of mum-in-law’s flash photography… whatever it is that winds you up about travelling with in-laws, don’t lash out. Your partner is twice as embarrassed as you are, so try to laugh together once you’re back in your own space.

10. Don’t lose sight of the joy of travel

If family feuds spew forth or you find yourself under fire with prying questions (‘when can we expect those grandkids to appear?’), it’s easy to lose sight of why you’re actually here. For the love of travel, don’t let in-law awkwardness mar your enjoyment of exploring somewhere new.

10 Reasons To Travel When Your Kids Are Little

With the spate of online plane hate, the apparent need for a bill to seat children with their parents on flights and now stories of how travel is wasted on the young, parents these days might be understandably discouraged from family vacations, especially to destinations that require more effort to travel with kids.

This year I attended the Disney Social Media Moms Celebration - a gathering of writers and bloggers hosted by Disney at Walt Disney World in Orlando. Amy Foster, the Director of Consumer Insights for Disney Destinations, had perhaps the most thought provoking quote of the conference, "You might only have 18 summers with your children, make memories now!" Since most naysayers believe that travel is wasted on children too young to remember it, that would mean we'd have only 14 summers, maybe 15 - tops.

And while a Disney vacation is a dream for most families, there's value to be had in any trip, and it doesn't matter that they won't remember, because you will never forget.

Remember, folks, 18 summers. Here are 10 more reasons to travel when your kids are little...

1) Naps...

Babies nap. Sometimes twice or even more each day. Naps are usually given as a reason to avoid traveling with babies, as they're seen as an inconvenience. But following your child's routine while you're traveling gives your days structure, and since you're not at home, you can actually nap as well. Or read a book. Or just relax.

2) Beach Sand Is Cleaner Than Playground Sand

Babies love sand. And they always take a mouthful -- at least once. Wouldn't you prefer that first sandy taste test be on a pristine beach, rather than the mucky sandbox at your local playground?

3) They're Portable...

The littler the baby, the easier they are to cart around. If you travel before your baby is mobile, chances are they will be content to ride in a stroller or be worn in a carrier, and you are free to roam city streets or country lanes with a fellow passenger who's happy to come along for the ride.

4) Getting There CAN Be Half The Fun...

You know who likes riding public transit? Typically not commuters heading to and from work, but toddlers sure do. You can save a lot of money on rental cars and taxis, avoid lugging the car seat around and it's easy to transition to other activities by the promise of a bus or subway ride.

5) Liquid Diets...

As a first-time mother, I wouldn't have believed this, but a young, exclusively breastfeeding baby, is the easiest travel companion. No concerns over food safety or allergies or picky eaters to manage, a baby who is still on a liquid diet is the easiest to feed while traveling. If you're bottle feeding, pack enough formula if you're not certain you can get your brand at your destination, and it's really not that hard to sterilize bottles in a hotel room.

6) Take Advantage Of Early Bird Specials...

Those evenings spent lingering over coffee and dessert may be on hold for the time being because chances are you're eating dinner at about the time you used to be maybe thinking about getting dressed to go out. There are lots of restaurants that offer pretty great early bird specials for those dining before 6 p.m., and they're not just for the snowbirds to enjoy.

7) You Get To Be A Kid Again...

When you hit the theme parks as parents for the first time, you'll notice a lot more than the lines and the expense. Our trips to Walt Disney World with a baby and a preschooler in tow meant we could get a do-over for our childhood trips -- for us that meant several spins through It's A Small World, and the mouse ears with our names embroidered on them. And when your kids are little, you get to be the boss of the itinerary, too.

8) Travel To Places Where People Actually Like Kids...

It seems there are more and more stories about how kids are not welcome in restaurants, or how people's travel experiences are ruined by the presence of children. However, in lots of cultures in lots of countries, children are adored, and families with children of all ages are welcome just about anywhere.

9) It's Easier To Connect With Locals...

Babies are great icebreakers. If you're out and about with your baby or toddler, especially when it's obvious you are not a local, you may find yourselves to be treated as celebrities. Unless your name is Brad or Angelina, chances are it's not every day you're stopped to have your photo taken with your children. Parenthood is also a great equalizer. It doesn't matter who you are or where you're from, you love your children and are interested in how other people are raising theirs.

10) They Become Great Travelers...

The younger you start traveling with your children, the quicker they become excellent (and even easy) travel companions. They become used to what is expected of them on travel days and are excited about new places, faces and foods. It is a joy to see the world through your baby's eyes, why wait to experience it?